“Four Keys To Good Relations”

Preached by Rev. Ed Brouwer at The Gathering Place, Osoyoos
Pulpit Series Volume 18, Issue 37, December 7, 2008

Philippians 1:3-11

A few good friends can make all the difference in the world.

Friends can uplift your mood, inspire you to move beyond your current level, comfort you when you’re down and provide escape from boredom and routine.

Friends can also open your eyes to opportunity, encourage you, and provide wisdom and support. It’s a common denominator for all of humanity to want good friendships.

Unfortunately, loneliness and lack of friendships are a major affliction in our modern world. The busyness of our culture, our mobility and a focus on privacy has contributed to a breakdown in friendships

1. Always thank God for the people close to you. (vs. 3)
Background: Acts 16

2.Pray for them with joy (vs. 4)

What to pray for others.
1. Pray that they will grow in love and knowledge .
2. Pray that they will live pure and blameless lives .
3. Pray that they will do the right thing.
4. Pray that they will live abundantly in God's glory.

3. Be patient with their progress. Philippians 1:6

Understand that God is not yet finished with people.

Our Mistake: We judge others by how far they have got to go rather than how far they have come.

4. Love them from the heart Philippians 1:7,8

The secret of enjoying the people in my life is to be filled with God's love.

Five common reasons for friendlessness:

1. You’ve been hurt in the past.
Most of us have been hurt by someone in our past, but some allow it to compromise future relationships.

The key is learning how to forgive people for their shortcomings. Harboring bitterness, resentment and an unforgiving attitude, will hinder all your relationships.

2. You’re afraid of being found out. We all have secret insecurities and shortcomings but life is too short to waste energy hiding your imperfections. Don’t toss aside a friendship because you’re scared they’ll find out you are imperfect. We all are.

3. The negative side of life gets the bulk
of your attention.
No one wants to be around someone who finds everything wrong in the world. It’s okay to acknowledge struggles and be real about the challenges you face, but know when to draw the line and see the bright side.

4. You’re a harsh judge of character.
If you’re someone who enjoys friends only until you find something wrong with them, you won’t keep friends. If you’re quick to make character judgments, as opposed to judging people based on track record, people will walk on eggshells around you and consequently won’t want to be around you. Be slow to judge.

5. Holding unrealistic expectations of
friends.
Don’t expect your friends to intuitively know your needs or to always support you in the ways you’d like. Let them know if you’re in need of their support instead of expecting them to know.

Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for more information concerning Block #11 on the insurance form which asks for "cause of injuries" wherein I put, "Trying to do the job alone." You said you needed more information so I trust the following will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade and on the date of injuries I was working alone laying brick around the top of a four-story building when I realized that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to put them into a barrel and lower them by a pulley which was fastened to the top of the building. I secured the end of the rope at ground level and went up to the top of the building and loaded the bricks into the barrel and swung the barrel out with the bricks in it. I then went down and untied the rope, holding it securely to ensure the slow descent of the barrel.

As you will note on Block #6 of the insurance form, I weigh 145 pounds. Due to my shock at being jerked off the ground so swiftly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Between the second and third floors, I met the barrel coming down. This accounts for the bruises and lacerations on my upper body. Regaining my presence of mind again, I held tightly to the rope and proceeded rapidly up the side of the building, not stopping until my right hand was jammed in the pulley. This accounts for the broken thumb.

Despite the pain, I retained my presence of mind and held tightly to the rope. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed about 50 pounds. I again refer you to Block #6 and my weight. As you would guess, I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the second floor I met the barrel coming up. This explains the injuries to my legs and lower body. Slowed only slightly, I continued my descent landing on the pile of bricks. This accounts for my sprained back and internal injuries.

I am sorry to report, however, that at this point, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope, and as you can imagine, the empty barrel crashed down on me. This accounts for my head injuries. I trust this answers your concern. Please know that I am finished "trying to do the job alone."

Solomon gives three reasons why friendships are so valuable.
A friend provides encouragement/help in our struggles and failures. "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Whenever we struggle or fail, we need a friend who will not walk away but will stay and help us up.

One of my favorite examples is the story of the Garden of Gethsemane. In our Lord's greatest hour of need, did he try to go it alone? No, he called his inner circle of friends (Peter, James John) to be with Him.

Look at Matthew 26:36-38. Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, 'Sit here while I go over there and pray. He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said, My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.

Jesus had someone to lean on, but if someone doesn't, then what? Solomon tells us: "But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"—v. 10b. When we choose not to rely on another, we risk staying down and defeated after we have fallen. But a friend can lift us up, dust us off, and help us get going again.

A friend provides support when the other is vulnerable. "...if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?" This verse could certainly refer to marriage each supplying what is needed for the other, whether it be physical, mental, social, or spiritual.

A friend also provides protection when the other is attacked. v12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. These words assert that the ability of two to ward off physical, spiritual or other assaults is much greater than that of one.

Two can defend themselves and defeat the obstacles. Two outfitted with the armor of Christ and the sword of the Spirit, and surrounded by prayer, can see much accomplished and much of the enemy's activities defeated-Eph. 6:10-18. But Solomon's statement is not limited strictly to physical and spiritual dangers.

A plaque entitled "A Friend" reads, "A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become, and still gently invites you to grow."