Preached by Rev. Ed Brouwer at The Gathering Place, Osoyoos
Pulpit Series Volume 21, Issue 17 September 18, 2011
What is this ‘art’ they call effective communication anyway?
One talk and the other stands there and looks like they’re interested and vice versa. How hard is that?
Matthew 11:15 “He that has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Matthew 13:16 “But blessed are your ears, for they hear.”
Luke 8:8 “Jesus said, He that has ears to hear, let him hear.”
According to Webster's Dictionary, the follow are the meanings of the words hear and listen:
HEAR: To perceive or apprehend by the ear
LISTEN: To hear something with thoughtful attention
Unless you are hearing-impaired, hearing simply happens.
Listening, is something you consciously choose to do.
Just about everybody hears, but only so many people listen.
Listening leads to learning.
John 8:43 “Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word.”If you were to take one ping pong ball and throw it out towards people, it is usually caught. If you take five balls and throw them at once, most people miss them all. The only person that will catch one of them is that rare person who will focus on a single ball. When we have too much relational noise, we lose focus and “drop the ball”.
One problem for us is “overchoice”. We are living in a world that offers us too many options.
“Overchoice” keeps us and our relationships average because it prevents us from focusing for very long on any one thing.
Focus is absolutely essential to doing things well, whether it’s building a house or building a relationship.
There can be no real listening apart from focus.
The ear is much more than an organ of hearing. It affects functions including energizing and regulating the brain’s state of alertness and attention. It controls balance, co-ordination, muscle tone and eye muscles.
Our listening abilities
affect our
communication capabilities.
Better listening means enhanced voice production, more fluid speech and a better quality of life.
When your spouse is speaking to you, how in-tune are you with what they have to say?
Are you hearing
or
Are you listening?
Being an active listener allows you to ask the right questions.
Simply hearing results in improper questions at wrong times.
Listening will put others at ease and allow you to be effective.
Most of us have been gifted with the ability to hear,
but few of us have refined it into the art of listening.
Hearing people is one thing,
But listening to them is quite another.
When it comes to the similarities between listening and hearing, the only one is you use your ears for both.
For instance…..
have you ever had someone try to talk to you while you’re watching TV? You’re into the last ten minutes of an hour show and you are caught up in the plot, so while they stand there and talk to you, your body is facing the TV, your eyes are on the TV. Maybe one ear, is devoted to the poor soul trying to talk to you.
Your body language states very clearly “What I’m watching on the TV is more important than you” and certainly you’re not really listening to what the person’s telling you.
Then there are the times, that before the other person even has spoken 10 words we jump into the editing room of our mind to prepare an answer. Before they’re done, we respond but usually it is off target.
How can you listen if you are busy thinking of your response?
Next time you’re in a conversation or you are overhearing one, see how many times one party interrupts the other before he or she is finished speaking.
Check yourself…..to see if you get the urge to jump in before the other person is through.
We are a society that is always in a hurry. Rush! Rush! Rush….even when it comes to the ‘art’ of conversation.
There are times when we are distracted or have our own agenda. What we hear then becomes like the “wah-wah-wah” of the Charlie Brown’s teacher.
No words...
No meaning...
Just noise!
If you are busy formulating the point you want to make or looking for the next time the speaker is going to take a breath so you can jump in with your agenda, you are not listening.
The positive effects of good listening are far-reaching.
If I allow an agenda or personal need to high jack the conversation, I become self-serving which is grounded in lack of self-confidence and a need to prove something.
When it is not about me saying something and instead I give my full attention, it allows the other person a chance to share their wisdom and viewpoints.
They get the experience of truly being listened to and of contributing and you get a chance to learn.
Seems like a win-win to me.
Acts 28:27 “For the heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes have they closed; lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.”
So today, think on things you need to work on!
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